


A Vampire's First Time

by heartsdesire456



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Romantic Gestures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 02:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7825843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shocking discovery when Simon and Raphael go to have sex brings out a need for a grand romantic streak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Vampire's First Time

**Author's Note:**

> This one is for my homie who loves the idea of Raphael being a secret virgin and this was going to be shorter but Simon's just too fun to write when he's being a dork.

Raphael’s chest beneath Simon’s fingers was firm and his lips were like fire against Simon’s jaw. Simon found it incredible that, though vampires were cold, to each other, their skin felt normal. Raphael’s body beneath his felt rock solid. Simon couldn’t believe his luck as Raphael pulled at Simon’s hair, tugging him into another kiss as they rolled over. Raphael straddled Simon and sat up, looking down at Simon as he undid his belt and his pants. He leaned over again to kiss Simon and Simon slid his hands down to push at Raphael’s pants, sliding them over his ass and down his thighs.

Simon grinned against Raphael’s lips when he groaned at the way Simon grabbed his ass and squeezed. He flipped them over, setting back on his knees to tug Raphael’s pants further down his thighs. “Hey, top or bottom, which do you prefer?” Simon asked, blushing some when Raphael’s pants got tangled around his knees.

“I don’t know.” Raphael shrugged, reaching his arms above his head as he looked up at Simon. “We can do what you like and find out.”

Simon stopped tugging at Raphael’s pants and looked at his face, frowning slowly. “You don’t know?” he asked. He hesitated, looking at Raphael’s face.

Raphael shrugged again, looking entirely nonchalant. “I’ve never done this, so I’ll have to let you know what I like as we go along.”

“Never done this-“ Simon’s eyebrow went up. “With a guy?”

“At all, but I don’t think with a woman would be relevant,” he said simply, reaching up for Simon, only for Simon to pull away.

“You’re a virgin?!” he squawked as he fell backwards, landing on his ass and barely managing not to fall off the bed entirely.

Raphael rolled his eyes, propping up on his elbows to look at Simon. “Yes, and?”

“YOU’RE A VIRGIN?!” Simon cried even louder. “You! I-“ He gestured to Raphael’s body in nothing but briefs. “ _How_? Aren’t you like eighty?”

“Seriously?” Raphael asked, raising an eyebrow. “Do I seem like the type of person to bother with sex?” He smirked, reaching out a hand to Simon. “Come on, it doesn’t matter, Baby-“

Simon scrambled back, eyes wide. “What? No!”

Raphael slid to the side of the bed as Simon actually stepped back away from the bed. “No?” he asked, suddenly looking uneasy. 

Simon saw the vulnerable look as Raphael looked down at his lap, and he stepped forward again. “No, no, Raphael, no.” He grabbed his hands, leaning down to kiss him quickly, which only seemed to confuse Raphael more. “Hey, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing,” he reassured him.

“Really?” Raphael asked dryly. “Doesn’t seem to be that great of a thing to you going by all of the flailing. You defy the basics of vampires by being so clumsy and graceless, you know?”

Simon huffed. “Raphael, come on, I’m not saying I don’t want you just because you’re a virgin, don’t jump into insults just because I reacted badly. I’m just shocked!”

Raphael hummed. “So, you good now?” Simon nodded and Raphael tugged him in again, hands sliding around Simon’s middle. “Good. Where were we?” he asked, kissing Simon’s sternum in front of him.

“Wait, no,” Simon said, pulling away. He grinned. “Dude, Raphael, I’ve got the best idea!”

Raphael gave him a skeptical smile. “Do you now.”

Simon cupped his face in both hands and leaned down, pressing a small kiss to his lips. “A guys first time is a big deal! It’s a right of passage! It’s not something you just do like you would normal sex.”

Raphael gave him a doubtful look. “Simon, I’m the leader of a vampire clan. I am nearly a century old. I do not need a ‘right of passage’.”

“Well too bad, Honey, because I’m gonna make sure your first time is special!” Simon announced grandly. “Oh man, I’ve got to plan!” he said, kissing Raphael’s cheek before snatching his shirt off the floor on his way out. “Let me know what your schedule is like this week!” he cried on his way out the door.

Raphael huffed and rolled his eyes. “HONEY IS NOT BECOMING A THING!” he shouted after him, but Simon clearly didn’t hear him.

~

Clary was drawing eyeliner designs on Magnus while Alec painted Isabelle’s nails and Jace braided her hair when Simon burst into Magnus’s loft and blurted out, “Raphael’s a virgin, Clary!” Everyone jumped, and Clary drew a jagged line along Magnus’s temple.

Magnus snorted, rolling his eyes. “Figures,” he said, shaking his head as he leaned back, looking dubiously at the eyeliner pencil she had nearly stabbed him in the eye with when she startled. “I always suspected there’s a reason he’s so uptight all the time.” He smirked in satisfaction. “And now I know why.”

Clary just looked at Simon curiously. “Um, thanks for telling me?”

Isabelle just whistled. “Damn, and you haven’t fixed that yet? A man that gorgeous being a virgin is practically criminal. I’d go do him now if I didn’t have doubts about how it would feel with cold, dead vampire di-“

“If you finish that statement, I’ll definitely throw up on you,” Jace threatened.

Simon groaned dramatically, flopping on the floor beside Clary, laying his head on her lap. “Clary, I need help! How do I plan the perfect, super special, crazy romantic date?” he asked.

“Awwww, you want to make his first time romantic?” Isabelle asked, smiling brightly. “That’s so sweet! You really love him, don’t you?” she asked and Simon made a face, but nodded.

“Yeah.” He sighed. “I haven’t _said it_ but I have never felt like this about anybody, so I can’t just do it with him without trying to treat him right and make it special!”

Clary gave him a doubtful look. “I know for a fact your first time wasn’t ‘special’, so why are you hung up on this?”

Simon scoffed. “Sharon Carswell manipulated my attraction to her, I would never do that to Raphael.”

“Well that sounds like a hell of a story,” Isabelle said and Simon shrugged.

“Not really. Junior year of high school, this really pretty girl was with us at this school trip thing and the chaperones weren’t even trying to chaperone, they were off smoking pot with the bus driver, so we were all hanging out, and Sharon Carswell was just horny I guess, and she knew I liked her, so she said she wanted to ‘talk’ and when I went with her to the girls room, she just put her hand down my pants and I was like ‘hey, okay then’.” He snorted. “Clary thought I made it up for two weeks until Sharon Carswell bragged about de-virginizing a nerd in gym class.”

Isabelle laughed. “Damn. That’s like Jace’s first time-“

“Dude, we agreed to never talk about this,” Jace said, tugging her hair.

Magnus made a face. “Why on earth would anybody want to take advantage of your attraction to them?” he asked and Jace flipped him off absently.

Alec grinned, looking up at Jace. “Yeah, Jace, tell them about your first time-“

“It was really, really weird, and her wings did a thing, and- and her hands were really cold, and I don’t think anybody wants to hear about that,’ Jace said quickly, blushing. “Things got weird, and it was awkward, and let’s just not.”

Clary scoffed. “Could be worse. Your first boyfriend could’ve freaked out in the middle of your first time and yelled ‘I think I’m gay’ and ran away,” she said, and Magnus snorted rather unattractively, slapping a hand over his mouth.

“Oh, Biscuit, Noooo!”

“Oh yes,” Clary said, nodding with a snicker. “Jake was such a fun guy, I should’ve known he wasn’t into me when he kept talking about Simon’s hair. I just thought he liked Simon’s haircut,” she said with a grin.

Isabelle smirked. “Still not as bad as Jace’s weird pixie wings experience.”

“Oh, and what about yours, then,” Clary asked teasingly.

Isabelle sighed dramatically. “Oh man. I’m spoiled. Meliorn was my first.”

“Oh come on,” Simon said, looking at her skeptically. “There is no way somebody as hot as you has only been with one guy.”

Isabelle laughed. “Oh no, of course not!” She winked. “I’ve just known Meliorn for years. Every few months I’ll get sick of him and have fun, but I always manage to fall back into his bed.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “Seelies are freaking amazing in bed.”

“True that,” Magnus said with a vacant smile. “I had a wonderful time with a Seelie Knight about ten months ago. Three days in bed. That’s never a bad way to spend a weekend.” He smirked. “Of course, that werewolf woman I left his bed for was not at all a bad time either. Surprisingly tender lovers, werewolves,” he noted, holding up one finger. “You would expect them to be very athletic, but oddly not.”

“Oh, I know, right?” Isabelle asked enthusiastically. “A little too romantic for my tastes, but not a bad time at all.”

Magnus turned back to Clary, closing his eyes so that she could fix his design. “Ah. First times. I remember my first time. This lovely stable boy in Italy. Mundane, too. So pretty. So flexible,” he added with a smirk. “Nobody ever believes my first lover was a boy, but let me tell you, in those days in that region, as long as you were nobody important it wasn’t that big of a deal who you slept with.”

Simon sighed, leaning his head against Clary’s thigh. “So, nobody had a super romantic first time they can share some ideas with me about?”

Clary smirked. “Ask Alec, I’m sure he could give you tips.”

“Oh, I would, if I wasn’t still a virgin,” Alec said dryly, looking down at Isabelle’s nails. “If only _somebody_ wouldn’t insist on my first time being ‘perfectly magical’-“

Magnus sighed dramatically. “I told you, Darling, the time just hasn’t been right, yet!”

“Really?” Simon asked. “Because Raphael has photos of you two on his phone where you’re literally sitting in the middle of like twenty hot people of multiple species and genders feeding you grapes and holding your drink for you. You’re telling me orgies are your thing, but you won’t do it with your boyfriend?” he asked skeptically.

Magnus gasped, clearly offended. “That little jerk said he deleted those!” he said, grumbling. “And besides, I haven’t had a boyfriend or girlfriend since just after World War 2, not long before I met Raphael, so excuse me for wanting to be romantic.” He reached out and tapped Simon on the nose. “Casual sex is a different beast altogether from making love to the person whose hands hold your entire heart.”

Simon sighed dramatically. “Yeah, hence my dilemma,” he said with a pout.

Jace, however, was looking at Alec skeptically. “Wait, so if you’re still a virgin… what do you do when you don’t come home until morning?” he asked suspiciously.

Alec’s cheeks slowly turned a brilliant shade of red – one that made Simon glad he fed before coming to see Clary – and avoided Jace’s eyes, studiously painting Isabelle’s pinky finger. “snurlerg,” he seemed to mumble, and Jace leaned forward some.

“What was that?”

“Snuggling, alright?!” Alec burst out. “We-“ He exhaled, looking down again. “We snuggle.”

There was a long silence for a moment and Simon looked up at Clary. “Did I just hear Alec ‘I hate everything besides manly violence’ Lightwood just say the word ‘snuggle’?”

“Oh fuck off,” Magnus said, poking Simon with his foot. “Any person who doesn’t enjoy cuddling has clear intimacy issues. Also, have you _seen_ that chest?” he asked, gesturing to Alec with the air of a gameshow presenter. “Tell me you wouldn’t love to use _that_ instead of a pillow!”

Alec looked up and frowned as every one of them stared at his chest. He crossed his arms over himself awkwardly. “Is this how it feels to have boobs?” he asked Isabelle, who just snickered and patted his arm comfortingly.

“Okay, you have a point,” Simon said, turning back to Magnus. “But seriously. Raphael! What’s his idea of romance? You know him better than any of us!”

Magnus hummed. “Not really. I had no idea he was a virgin. Or gay. I sort of always figured he liked women, so clearly it hasn’t come up between us.”

Simon groaned, dropping his head back against Clary’s leg. “I think I need to go watch romance movies.”

“Cool, we can make it a marathon,” she said, then nudged him gently. “I need my leg so I can stand up and reach the other side of his face,” she said, and he begrudgingly gave up his best friend and moved to a chair instead.

He had to get this planned out ASAP.

~

“This is hopeless!” Simon complained as he flopped backwards across his bed, phone to his ear. “Clary what do I do?”

Clary hummed. “Romantic dinner?”

“We don’t eat.”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “That would be a problem.” After a moment she spoke again. “Hey! What about a path of candles all the way to the bedroom and romantic candlelight all over the place?”

Simon sighed. “I did think of that, then I remembered that vampires are super flammable and we’ll all die for sure.”

“You are? Damn. That’s definitely a bummer,” she said. 

Simon rubbed at his eyes. “I thought about rose petals but roses are expensive and that’s a lot of crap to clean up, so chances are he’ll just get mad at me for putting shit all over his bedroom floor.”

“Why don’t you write him a song?” Clary suggested. “It happens in movies all the time! The guy serenades the girl! And you’re a musician, you can write your own song instead of just pick one!”

Simon sat upright, eyes wide. “Oh man, I should write him a love song in Spanish!”

Clary hesitated. “Do… you speak Spanish?”

Simon shrugged, though she couldn’t see him, and scrambled off his bed. “I mean, not really. I haven’t practiced in years, but whatever, I can manage something!”

“Well… as long as you don’t accidentally tell him he’s a goat or something,” she said and Simon already had his guitar in hand.

“Yes! This is going to be great!”

~

Simon found Raphael finishing up a meeting and waited until the others were gone before ducking into his office. “Hey, Raphael,” he greeted, walking over to his desk.

Raphael looked up and raised an extremely judgmental eyebrow. “Oh? Now you’re speaking to me?”

Simon faltered, frowning. “Um… when was I not speaking to you?” he asked slowly.

“You’ve avoided me ever since the other night,” Raphael said defensively, and Simon thought back only to cringe when he realized he hadn’t seen Raphael since he left his bedroom after discovering he was a virgin. 

“Oh… Crap.” Simon walked around the desk and leaned against it beside Raphael, leaning down to kiss him in greeting. “I’m sorry. I just got distracted.”

Raphael looked up at him when he pulled back and Simon felt like crap when he saw the doubt in Raphael’s eyes. “Are you sure that’s all?” Raphael challenged. “If you’re so distracted, I could always assign you to more training.”

Simon shook his head. “I swear, it wasn’t me freaking out on you.”

“You know,” Raphael, said, looking up at him. “You don’t have any obligation to have a romantic relationship with me just because I am your leader. If you want out, I won’t punish you and it won’t mess up your relationship with the Clan. But if you fuck with me, it will,” he said more firmly. “Be upfront with me. If you don’t want me, just say it. But if you act like you do just to fuck with me, I won’t be happy with you.”

Simon’s jaw dropped in shock. “Why would you think that I don’t what you? I love you!” Simon slapped a hand over his mouth, and Raphael looked up at him so fast Simon barely saw him move.

“I- You- I-“

“Oh shit, pretend I didn’t say that,” Simon babbled. “No, seriously, I was not supposed to say that. Oh crap we’ve been doing whatever this is for like no time at all, I’m gonna just- just go and do something.” He stood up. “Leaving. There outside. Away from you here. Oh crap.”

He got halfway to the door before Raphael laughed. He stopped and turned around, because Raphael very rarely laughed, and Raphael stood and walked over to him slowly. “Simon,” he said softly, eyes locked with his as he approached him. Raphael looked up into his eyes and reached up to cup his face in his hand. “I didn’t realize how deeply you felt for me, Baby.”

Simon sighed, ducking his head. “Yeah, well, that was the point of all the embarrassment.”

“So you weren’t avoiding me? Truly?” Raphael asked and Simon shook his head. “Well, then I am happy. I feel quite deeply for you. I was a bit upset when I thought you were avoiding me.”

Simon sighed, blushing slightly. “I was… planning something romantic. So I just got distracted.”

Raphael rolled his eyes. “Simon, I told you-“

Simon shushed him, putting a finger over his lips, which he sheepishly pulled away when Raphael gave it a look that clearly said he would bite it if he didn’t. “I want a romantic evening with you.”

“I lied, I feel nothing for you,” Raphael lied, though he let a small smile slip, which made Simon beam.

“You like my romantic side,” he teased, kissing him sweetly. “Come on. I wrote a song!”

Raphael raised an eyebrow skeptically but let Simon pull him along anyways.

~

Simon sat Raphael down on the couch in Raphael’s room and grabbed his guitar, and got about thirty seconds into his song before Raphael reached out and put his hand over the guitar, stopping him. “Okay. No. Just no,” he said, cringing. “What the hell was that?”

Simon frowned. “A- a love song? In Spanish?”

Raphael just stared at him. “You said you like French fries, Simon. _French fries_.” He grimaced. “That Spanish was so bad you bring shame to Puerto Ricans everywhere.”

“Colombian, thank you,” Simon argued. “And don’t judge me, I’m like third generation, I haven’t had to speak Spanish since my grandma died when I was like five.”

Raphael snickered. “It shows,” he said, and Simon huffed.

“You could just accept the gesture, not judge me,” he said, putting the guitar aside and crossing his arms.

Raphael pinched his nose and sighed. “You are so lucky I still want to have sex with you at all after that.”

Simon perked up, smiling. “But you _do_ don’t you?” he asked, hitting him with his elbow. “Huh, huh. My love song worked!”

“No, it most decidedly didn’t,” Raphael said with a chuckle, smiling brightly as he turned to Simon. “I told you, I don’t need some grand romantic scheme, Simon.”

Simon glanced towards Raphael’s bed, where the curtains were conspicuously closed tightly, and Raphael narrowed his eyes when he looked back at him. “Um. So hey. Here’s the thing.”

“What did you do?” Raphael asked, and Simon gave him an innocent smile that was always too adorable.

Simon kissed his cheek and then vampire-sped over to turn off the lights. Raphael looked and saw that there was light coming from around the seams of the blackout curtains around his bed. “Simon, you do remember vampires catch fire really easy, right?” he asked cautiously, and Simon nodded fast.

“Yeah! And I did think about candles! But then I remembered, you know, fiery death.” He walked over to the curtains at the end of the bed and swept them open with a flourish. “Tada?” he tried, giving Raphael a hesitant smile.

Raphael stood up and walked over, his chest tightening a bit as he looked at the bed. As much as he had told Simon not to go all romantic on him, when he saw the beautiful, red and white satin bedding Simon had put on his bed and at the fairy lights strung around the canopy in lieu of candles, he felt a bit of a flutter in his belly. “Oh.”

Simon fidgeted beside him. “Oh?” he asked, looking at him intently. “Um, if you hate it, I can- can pretend this never happened and fix it and just- just go away and we can start over tomorrow?”

Raphael shook his head, a smile stretching cross his lips as he turned to Simon. “ _Soy muy afortunado de conocerte._ Simon tilted his head in confusion and Raphael stepped into his space, kissing him sweetly instead of answering. “ _Te quiero_ , Simon.”

Simon smiled brightly, eyes crinkling as he slid his hands to Raphael’s waist, leaning their foreheads together. “You do?” he asked breathlessly and Raphael just tugged him into another kiss.

Raphael smirked as he backed him towards the bed. “Now, is this the most of your romantic streak, or is there something else before I can finally get into your pants, Baby?” he teased and Simon rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, you don’t appreciate my romance,” he said and then grabbed Raphael around the hips and tossed him back onto the bed before crawling up after him. Raphael shrugged out of his jacket and started undoing the buttons on his shirt as he shuffled backwards up the bed, watching as Simon crawled up after him. “You just want me for my body, huh?” he accused and Raphael looked up at the lights around them and smiled a soft, genuine smile.

“I don’t know, this is really sweet, and I appreciate the thought put into the song even if it was absolutely horrendous,” he replied, sliding his arms around Simon’s shoulders. “Your romance might be appreciated,” he conceded, earning a sweet, gentle that made his heart swell. 

Simon nodded. “Good.” He gazed into Raphael’s eyes. “So, hey, wanna fuck me, now?” he asked, and Raphael smirked, nodding slowly.

“I most definitely want to do that, Baby, yes.”

Simon sat up on his knees, grinning as he started on his shirt. “Great, awesome, romanced achievement unlocked!” he said and Raphael just rolled his eyes fondly, sitting up to help him with his clothes.


End file.
